As some of you know, I have an uncanny knack for attracting strange and/or deranged people. Today I had another series of encounters and I thought 'hey, why not chronicle these for the amusement of others?' So here is the first installment of what will inevitably become a long list of Cat's Crazies.
Walking down 5th avenue today, I met a man who claimed he needed some money for a train ticket to Edison. He was wearing a hospital bracelet, and seemed kind of out of it, so I caved and gave him a dollar. For most people, it would end there, but for me it continued thusly:
"Thank you so much. Hey, what's your name?""Uhhhh....Catherine"
"Catherine, eh? Well my name's Jeff, aka Mac 'n' Cheese."
"Oh, really, Mac 'n' Cheese?"
"Yeah, Mac 'n' Cheese, with a side of collard greens *wink wink*, y'kna mean?"
(in my head--"no, not at all") "Oh. Haha, ok, well I have to go..."
"Yeah, so I'm tryna move to Albany. People mind their own business up there. [Boring ramblings excluded.] Like I was talking to my friend Chris, white dude, right? And I was all 'yo man I just wanna smoke some ganja for my back, cause my back hurts."
"Oh, ok, I have to go...""And I was all like "it makes me feel like Michael Jackson!" Eeeeh heee!" *proceeds to moonwalk*
"Ok, well, good luck to you. I have to go to work now""Aight girl." *tries to give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek*
Then, I went to vist Ery at the restaurant where she works. As I walked up, right in front, I saw 6 cops rocking 2 cars, a traffic enforcement cart thingy, and a police horse. They were all very not busy patting down and arresting a 6-foot tall weedy man. A recent Columbia grad, he was apparently fresh from a visit with his therapist and had a mental breakdown on the sidewalk about finding true love that somehow involved yelling at passing women and rolling on the ground.
So, cool. As Ery and I were discussing this over a beer we heard shouting from behind us. Two men at the bar (both in their late thirties/early forties) were screaming "Ok, let's do it! $50! Let's do it!" They had decided to make a bet over who had the most body hair, so naturally the next step was that both of them should remove their shirts. At 3pm. To their credit, both were incredibly hairy. One girl screamed "Oh my god! You're like a dog!!!" And then everyone proceeded to pet the hairiest guy for the next 5 minutes.
Uh, what? Happy Thursday!
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